Perils of parking

Dec 15 2008 Jackie Violet

Perils of parking

WHAT is it about parking that causes some drivers to turn into demented monsters, others, into sufferers of momentary-brain-dead-syndrome?

Of course, women have been the butt of many a joke over our supposed inability to park a car. Is that because, for years, men have been telling us that 'x' is six inches? I know, the old jokes are always the best.

However, asking the question 'what is the most stressful thing you do when behind a wheel?' my women friends agreed unanimously - parking!

Why? I asked curiously. Stunned into silence (sadly, only for a few seconds) there followed a great outpouring. Finding a space, one cited. Finding a space big enough, said another. Being able to see. 'What?' I cried. 'If you do not have height adjustment on your driver seat use a cushion,' I implored. They were all quick to voice their vexations about parking.

One then mentioned the pressure she felt especially when parallel parking on a road when another driver was waiting behind her. She was lucky drivers do actually wait. Most of them go to the ends of the earth to get round you despite the fact your front end is sticking out a mile. Whatever happened to patient drivers - drivers who were courteous enough to wait a few seconds while you completed this arduous task of parking?

I think she has actually hit the nail on the head, for the pressure is on to do this alien act quickly or face a barrage of abuse from motorists held up in the mile-long tailback you have just created now making the traffic news. As a result, ninety-nine per cent of the time you stuff it up, causing you to have to come out and try again.

You dare not look in the rear mirror in case you notice the look of despair on the waiting driver's face. You cringe, pray hard and try again. The problem is, the pressure has escalated like a pressure-cooker waiting to explode. Beads of perspiration now burst out from every pore. Lips take a hammering as the teeth gnaw in, and woe betide any passenger willing to give a bit of advice.

The thing is, reversing is such an illogical action to do, that women, being of logical brain, simply cannot compute the concept.

So I say take your time. Go as slowly as you want and if this causes a traffic jam that is mentioned on the radio, do not fret.

With Christmas upon us, every parking space is priceless.