50 days to save the world? Buy a Jag

Oct 20 2009 Steve Orme

50 days to save the world? Buy a Jag

THE great thing about the climate debate is that there are so many 'truths' out there that you will almost certainly find one to suit you.

Therefore, this week Gordon Brown was able to tell the dolphin bothering community that he has 50 days to save the world and must get on immediately with wearing his underpants outside his trousers.

Being a socialist his route to a healthy atmosphere will be taxation. It's the rich wot done it, guv, throw another Range Rover on the brazier.

Meanwhile in America, home of fearless nu-think like pre-emptively bombing the moon, two guys called Bud and Chuck, well actually Nathan Myhrvold and Ken Calderia, but Bud and Chuck uses fewer keystrokes thus less precious energy, say it is not too much carbon dioxide, but too little sulphur which lets the sun in and heats the world.

And just to prove they have their fingers on the scientific pulse, Bud says Al Gore's green motive is: 'To scare the crap out of people.' Glad we cleared that one up

So, the clear answer is for us all to get out there and buy a big diesel, prise the potentially costly and unreliable particulate filter off it and motor on to sulphur nirvana, which I believe is somewhere between Pontefract and Huddersfield

There was time when I would have preferred knee surgery using a blunt Jonathon Porritt to a diesel. But times have changed, something ably demonstrated by Jaguar's three-litre XF Sport.

I don't want to put you off reading any further, but let me just say at the start this is the best diesel car in the world.

For a start it is quick - 5.9 seconds to 60mph - and has a totally meaningless top speed you will never attain.

Then there is the Dr Who factor with all manner of boyish thrills to be had from air vents which rotate out of the fascia and a slowly emerging centre console belly button for selecting the automatic gears. Complete, of course, with paddle shift sport setting.

Did I mention the luxury? Proper leather, not some half-flayed cat skin, tasteful dark oak door inserts and blue interior mood lighting. Or the smoothness of the ride which you can turn into a high-powered, super grippy, rear wheel drive cat fight should the mood strike? The XF is about what cars were meant to be not some half-a-horse, lame attempt at excusing yourself from the feast.

Added to this is a frankly ridiculous equipment itinerary which, so it is said, if ever listed completely will bring about the end of the universe. Enough to know that it has all the communications, climate and entertainment equipment expected, idiot proofing like park assist and pedestrian contact sensing, cornering brake control and emergency assist.

But it won't restich the wellesphere according to the theory of Bud and Chuck. In fact it is a paragon, doing over 40mpg and releasing a moderate 179 carbons per kilometre

And, of course it is expensive, the S with options is £44,200. Meaning lots of tax to be paid which makes Gordon very happy. And that's the truth.