Titanic step towards a 4x4 bargain

Nov 17 2009 Steve Orme

SOME advice. Before buying your next car, take care what it may be saying about your social status. The worst thing you can show yourself to be these days is a toff.

It is the insult of the moment and about as far from what is acceptable in Republik Britannia as cat skinning.

Even the Conservative Party, the natural home of the toff, is back pedalling away from toffism.

Before the Manchester conference knees up the Tory top toff, Dave, was even warned by his missus he would be on short commons in the bedroom if he was caught necking the Lanson.

So, how to tell a toff from a turnip?

Obviously there is the school thing. Did one attend an alma mater which encouraged decadent dining clubs for boys who had had their jaw screws slackened and called locals oiks?

More worrying is the assumption that those who can recite great chunks of Monty Python are toffs.

Clearly because those of us in the state system could neither afford a television or have any knowlege of Thomas Hardy or cheesy comestibles, certainly not Norwegian Jarlsberg.

And our funny walks were almost certainly caused by poor diet and high altitude.

Inclusive, classless, thickness is the name of the game today. Everyone understands Little Britain because everyone understands vomit. In Monty Python the joke had to be put in the context of French fine dining.

Nobody is going to wash up at X-Factor in an Overfinch Range Rover while there are still 30-foot Barbie-pink limos and Lambrini on the streets.

That's not to say that the Sportage is cheap, well it is actually at £19,000 for the top-spec Titan, but not in a nasty way. And squire, am I pleased to be able to tell you so because that was just the problem with older versions.

Now this small 4x4 has a finish up to the standard demanded by European markets, robust, soft touch plastics and an interior that is no longer as dull as a gentle ladies' tea dance.

The introduction of a £14,000 two-wheel drive versions confirms the soft roader nature of Sportage but the two-litre turbo diesel Titan won't break a nail tackling shooting party level off roading.

In addition attention has been given to towing performance and the Titan will be at home among the shower blocks and ping-pong tables of an English camping holiday.

On the road you can expect high thirties to the gallon and a reasonably refined ride, not least since the gearbox was tweaked and on-road performance helped with suspension alterations and reduced wind noise although it is far from becalmed in the doldums.

The CRD won't be winning any races but 60mph in 12 seconds is acceptable.

All Sportage models are equipped with six airbags, air conditioning alloys and all round electric windows. Titan spec adds cruise control, leather upholstery, metal-effect fascia trim, tinted glass and a sunroof.

Very good value, very Yorkshire. Aye, we may have been poor, but we were happy.

In the meantime as Dave demonstrated, you can deflect toff taunts with a bit of M&S for the little lady. No, no, it's a shop. Yes, near Fornums.